Being female sucks at times. So does being a male.
But since I belong to the former gender. Let me highlight some of the instances.
Allow me to enlighten you, in no particular order.
Childbirth – Frankly, I find it hard to top this one. I have never experienced childbirth, but I have numerous friends and a mother who doesn't mind chatting about the sheer horror of passing a bowling ball between her legs. The nine months prior are not exactly a picnic, either, I hear. You experience insatiable cravings for ice cream and pickles, have to wear everything elastic, swing from mood to mood by the minute, puke every morning, get out of breath standing up, and then spend a year trying to lose the weight and hide the stretch marks.
We give up our last names – Thank God for the hyphen is about all I have to say to that one.
Periods – Nothing is worse than having a week of mood-altering hormones, tampons, and cramps that would make The Hulk wince. Once that week ends, you can find joy in knowing that you are going to do it all over again next month. And the only way out of it is to be pregnant or 50.
Birth control – Definitely not covered by insurance, but Viagra is.
Promiscuity – If a girl sleeps with more than one guy in, let's say, two weeks, she's any number of terms that comes to your head. But I'll let the guys have this one: if a guy doesn't sleep with any girl in two weeks, he's gay.
Unequal pay – A decent argument for why it's worse to be male is that society (sensing a theme?) instructs they should offer to pay, especially on that first, crucial date to Urban Tadka. However, since females make less for every dollar a male makes, suck it up and pay for all the butter chicken and garlic naan.
Makeup – If there was ever a more time-consuming, expensive, unnecessary endeavor than makeup, it should be made illegal. It's inflicted upon us that we're not beautiful in every single way, despite what Christina Aguilera bemoans, so we spend our hard-earned money on makeup and the power tools needed to apply it. First, you need foundation, which clogs your pores and makes you break out. Second, you need a deep-cleaning, pore-purifying, acne-preventing face wash that dries your skin. Third, you need a moisturizer. Fourth, you need natural makeup that looks like it isn't there. This process is not only time consuming and but also makes a hole in our pocket.
Shoes – A male must have invented female shoes, because I don't think a woman would voluntarily give herself scoliosis. Apparently only a 6 inch heel is supposed to make me feel sexy about myself.
Pants and pants sizes – Talk about an arbitrary system. Females are too emotionally unstable to handle knowing their waist size because we read beauty magazines which sells the wrong idea about beauty and size. I have pants that range from a size S to a XXXL, whatever that means. I'm not sure. And then there are the kinds of pants we have to select from. Let's just say you either don't sit down, or wear a really long shirt.
Everything's PMS-related – Did you look at someone weird? PMS. Have a bad day? PMS. Want to listen to Andra day? PMS. Okay fine! You will blame everything on our PMS.
Assertion of an opinion- Good luck, girls. Anytime we get forceful, we're either a bitch or a feminist. Or, even better, somebody pets our head and tells you that you're too cute. This happens to me all the time.
Bodily functions – If a girl burps, she's dubbed crude. A guy can spit something the size of river yamuna out of his mouth and fart as no one else is in the room, we pass it off as normal.
Harder to lose weight – If I hear one more guy complain about how hard it is to gain weight, I'll scream. I'm still trying to burn off a sandwich I ate in eighth grade. Thankfully, I don't care.
Shaving – Ever wonder why it takes us so long to get ready? It's because we have a lot more to cover when it comes to shaving, everything from plucking eyebrows to two entire legs. Sure would be nice to just have a jaw line, where you can just grow a beard if you don't feel like shaving.
Ah, that was therapeutic. I would just like to say, for the record, none of these reasons for why it sucks to be female are embellished in any way. They are all stunningly true-to-life.